Let’s get clarity on insecurities. Insecurities are nothing more than opportunities to look within, grow and love yourself more. Having the will to recognize and acknowledge your own insecurities is the first step in such growth and self-love. Insecurities of your own are never meant for you to dislike others, wish bad on others, attack others, or even covet that of another, although these are the easiest, most comfortable, seemingly satisfying reactions. Equally, it is imperative that you control the mindset of what actions are to be taken once you encounter insecurities of your own.
Jealousy, envy, hate, and many other negative feelings never exist alone. Instead, they are always attached to insecurities from within, plain and simple. These feelings are always a reflection of what’s really going on inside of the heart and mind. When you experience such harsh, negative feelings towards another, they say to you, there is a perceived lack in your own life, significant enough to cause you to somehow feel cheated, less than and even unimportant. These beliefs, when internalized, can even lead you to wish bad on others, hoping they fail, and sometimes for some, wishing even worse; all because of insecurities that lie within, giving you a false sense of your own self-worth.
The good news is, with every insecurity you experience, there’s the opportunity for growth attached to it. Think about that! Instead of always resulting to the easy response of negativity, jealousy, envy and hate towards another, it is possible and a much healthier response for you to develop the habit of recognizing and acknowledging any experience you have with insecurities and immediately begin to look within. Question yourself. What is this? Why am I feeling this way towards her/him/them? What am I believing about myself that is simply not true? Where is it coming from? And most important, how can I fix me?
Anytime you find yourself comparing your life to the lives of others in an unhealthy way, measuring what you have or don’t have against what they have, you are simply feeding the energy of your insecurities, giving credit to the displeasure within your own being and standing by the disapproval of what you have to offer. When comparing yourself to others in this way, you feed into those unrelenting negative beliefs you have about yourself and the most beneficial question you can ever ask will always be, ‘how can I fix me?’. In order to grow and find a deeper sense of self-love, you must gain control over your insecurities, no longer allowing them to be that secret scapegoat towards your jealousy of someone. Confront your jealousy issues, your envy and even hate towards another, in the mirror. Where is this coming from? Where do I believe I’m lacking? How can I fix me? Instead of taking the easy route and spewing such negativity towards others simply because you perceive them to be doing better in life or having better, challenge your thoughts about yourself. Experiencing insecurities in life are some of the rare times it is actually all about you. Take advantage.
What a relief it can be when you truly understand that insecurities and feelings of jealousy, envy and hate are never, ever, ever about the other person or people; a relief in knowing you can take care of such awful feelings if you would just work from within. When these feeling come about, it is your inner being’s way of calling out to you, to guard your heart more, to express your true being more sincerely, to love yourself more, to actually like yourself, and to work harder at what ever it is you have to offer in life. Somewhere in your own personal life, you are likely lacking and simply need to catch up. Any negative feelings towards another that are based on you ‘comparing notes’ between you and another are just a wake-up call for you to give more attention to something going on inside. The more you run from and ignore your insecurities, you will notice your negative feelings only deepening and spreading towards even more people as time goes on. But when you take the time to understand what is going on inside of you, become willing to address the lies and improve your way of thinking, you will continue to grow and be at peace with others living their lives to the fullest, as they should.
Should you ever find yourself experiencing a sense of jealousy, envy or hate towards another, know that it is never about the other person but all about you and insecurities within that need to be addressed. Love yourself enough to look within.
Author Tawana R. Powell