Growing from insecurities

Let’s get clarity on insecurities.  Insecurities are nothing more than opportunities to look within, grow and love yourself more.  Having the will to recognize and acknowledge your own insecurities is the first step in such growth and self-love.  Insecurities of your own are never meant for you to dislike others, wish bad on others, attack others, or even covet that of another, although these are the easiest, most comfortable, seemingly satisfying reactions.  Equally, it is imperative that you control the mindset of what actions are to be taken once you encounter insecurities of your own. 

Jealousy, envy, hate, and many other negative feelings never exist alone.  Instead, they are always attached to insecurities from within, plain and simple.  These feelings are always a reflection of what’s really going on inside of the heart and mind.  When you experience such harsh, negative feelings towards another, they say to you, there is a perceived lack in your own life, significant enough to cause you to somehow feel cheated, less than and even unimportant.  These beliefs, when internalized, can even lead you to wish bad on others, hoping they fail, and sometimes for some, wishing even worse; all because of insecurities that lie within, giving you a false sense of your own self-worth.

The good news is, with every insecurity you experience, there’s the opportunity for growth attached to it. Think about that!  Instead of always resulting to the easy response of negativity, jealousy, envy and hate towards another, it is possible and a much healthier response for you to develop the habit of recognizing and acknowledging any experience you have with insecurities and immediately begin to look within.  Question yourself.  What is this?  Why am I feeling this way towards her/him/them?  What am I believing about myself that is simply not true?  Where is it coming from? And most important, how can I fix me?

Anytime you find yourself comparing your life to the lives of others in an unhealthy way, measuring what you have or don’t have against what they have, you are simply feeding the energy of your insecurities,  giving credit to the displeasure within your own being and standing by the disapproval of what you have to offer.  When comparing yourself to others in this way, you feed into those unrelenting negative beliefs you have about yourself and the most beneficial question you can ever ask will always be, ‘how can I fix me?’.  In order to grow and find a deeper sense of self-love, you must gain control over your insecurities, no longer allowing them to be that secret scapegoat towards your jealousy of someone.  Confront your jealousy issues, your envy and even hate towards another, in the mirror.  Where is this coming from?  Where do I believe I’m lacking?  How can I fix me?  Instead of taking the easy route and spewing such negativity towards others simply because you perceive them to be doing better in life or having better, challenge your thoughts about yourself.  Experiencing insecurities in life are some of the rare times it is actually all about you.  Take advantage.

What a relief it can be when you truly understand that insecurities and feelings of jealousy, envy and hate are never, ever, ever about the other person or people; a relief in knowing you can take care of such awful feelings if you would just work from within.  When these feeling come about, it is your inner being’s way of calling out to you, to guard your heart more, to express your true being more sincerely, to love yourself more, to actually like yourself, and to work harder at what ever it is you have to offer in life.  Somewhere in your own personal life, you are likely lacking and simply need to catch up.  Any negative feelings towards another that are based on you ‘comparing notes’ between you and another are just a wake-up call for you to give more attention to something going on inside.  The more you run from and ignore your insecurities, you will notice your negative feelings only deepening and spreading towards even more people as time goes on.  But when you take the time to understand what is going on inside of you, become willing to address the lies and improve your way of thinking, you will continue to grow and be at peace with others living their lives to the fullest, as they should.

Should you ever find yourself experiencing a sense of jealousy, envy or hate towards another, know that it is never about the other person but all about you and insecurities within that need to be addressed.  Love yourself enough to look within.

Author Tawana R. Powell

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New Year’s Blinders… Are you wearing yours?

Anytime you make a firm decision to set a goal and begin taking the necessary steps to achieve it, a certain level of focus is required and often times, adjustments are needed.  Although you may not always acknowledge the focus you take on, it is there.  When you are determined to achieve a goal, that goal is constantly at the forefront of your mind, with a level of importance above just about anything else you have going on.  That focus you have is what I equate to ‘wearing your blinders’, determined to keep all unnecessary distractions at bay until your goal has been met.  

Going into a new year is primetime for wearing your blinders especially if you are one to make resolutions or decide to change some of your daily habits.  It is a time to reflect and take notice of all the things that may have gotten you off course last year, how it happened and why you allowed such things to deter your focus.  Once you make note of all the things that caused you to lose focus and gain a determination to keep it from happening again, this is a good time to start placing your blinders on, helping to take your eyes off the things that waste your time and get you off track.  Learn to guard your eyes from the things that don’t matter.  Guard your attention from wasteful activity. Guard your ears from the doubts of naysayers.  Most importantly, guard your heart from anything that is not of God’s plans for you.

Put on your blinders to get the focus you need.  Your blinders are a representation of your determined focus to look straight ahead, blocking distractions, saying no when necessary, disregarding your own doubts and fears that will arise from time to time.  You have to be aware that these distractions will continue to come at you from every angle.  They are nonstop and can be extremely tempting.  They will always be there.  If the awareness is there ahead of time already expecting such temptation to occur, you have a better chance of being saved by your blinders and will be wise enough to keep your eyes covered and protected from straying the wrong way.  Instead of falling for the temptations of distractions, you will continue looking and moving ahead when you learn to wear blinders.

At some point, you must be willing to accept that it may be time for you to step away from some things and even some people if you are serious about making some changes in your life and reaching your greatest potentials.  Such accomplishments are never going to happen if you never make the conscious decision to see them through.  Be willing to accept that God is calling you to do some things with your life that are expected of no one else around you, just you.  Believe it or not, it is true.  Be willing to accept that it is time for you to step out on faith, not having all the answers, not even having everything you think you’ll need tomorrow.  What you have right now is all you need right now.  Allow your faith to cover the rest.  Be willing to put on  your blinders, blocking everything and everybody around you that stand to knock you off course.  You’ve already been knocked off more times than you care to remember.  At some point you and only you will have to be the one to change the course of your life.  Will you put on those blinders today or will you keep allowing wasteful distractions to rule your life? Get focused, get believing, and get going.  No one else will do it for you.

Happy new year to you!

Author Tawana R. Powell