Have you ever had a conversation so long or so in-depth that by the time it was over, your whole idea or plan appeared to be a waste, perhaps even ridiculous? That’s what happens when doubt intrudes the conversation, causing a need on your part for unwarranted confirmation. Your listener’s doubts, fears, and possibly even envy knocks you completely off guard and offers nothing more than a case of overclouded judgement.
It’s a habit too many develop; the need to explain everything. With every person you run into and with every phone call you answer, you find yourself explaining from beginning to end, why you’re doing what you’re doing, what you hope for, or what you plan to do next. If you stop and ask yourself why you feel the need to explain everything, you will find that your answer is closely related to one of two things. Either you already have too many doubts of your own or you unfortunately have an overwhelming need to please. Not only will both tear away at your confidence, but they both will also get you nowhere fast.
The truth is opinions are free and just about everybody has one or two to offer. For this reason, it is a must that you build your own confidence in that which you do or aspire to do. When you have a passion, it is important to understand that no one around you will experience the same depth of passion you have and you should never expect them to. Along with that, you should also not expect others to understand everything you do or all you must do to achieve your aspirations. Always longing for understanding from others will bring constant disappointment and may even lessen your own desire to achieve. It is no one else’s responsibility to have your passion as a priority; no one but you. And that means you’re also the only one who needs a complete understanding of all that is required to make your successes come to pass.
When you do find yourself explaining your position, be sure that there is probable cause for doing so. For the pure sake of gaining one’s approval or to satisfy one’s curiosity are never reasons to share all of your ideas and desires. You stand too much of a chance of unnecessary friction. There are times, however, when others may be able to contribute to your position in a productive way. Count on your intuition to decipher between the two. Most will not fill the shoes of productive contribution, so if you find yourself doing a lot of explaining and doing it often, your subconscious is likely filling up quickly with more doubt and less desire without you even noticing. What you will discover, however, is that your previous level of passion is not the same as before. If you can’t figure out why, think back on all the times you discussed where you’re headed and what you’re striving to achieve. When you reflect, you will notice that every unnecessary conversation actually chipped away a bit of your passion every time. The truth is some people won’t understand, some simply don’t care, and some purposely apply venom every opportunity they get.
Your best position will always be less talk, more action. When you’re not sure and need more clarity in the direction you’re headed, pray or meditate. People generally don’t know and cannot provide the answers you need. Your confidence must be built on your own belief in that which you can achieve and not based on the opinions of others. Too much explaining is the culprit to confusion. It opens the door to too many unnecessary obstacles and will leave you only exercising a gift of gab. When you engage in too much unnecessary discussion and with the wrong people, back to square one is where you will land every time. Unless you want to get nowhere fast, simply put in the work. Time clarifies all.
Tawana R. Powell