Two of the worst shortcomings an individual can embrace are the ones called jealousy and envy. Too many times, they destroy relationships, friendships, business deals, and most importantly, character. We hear about the damage all the time. We talk about the damage all the time, especially when we see it in others. But do we really know the position they hold and why they really exist? When we know for sure, we can win the battle, yes our own personal battles when we endure such darkness.
If you can take a moment and go back to a time when you may have felt envious or jealous towards another individual, you will find at the heart of that moment the old soul-snatcher called fear. You can never experience envy or jealousy without the presence of fear and because the feelings that go along with jealousy are so strong, it’s easy to not even realize you’re actually afraid of something. But when you can place your finger on that fear, the question then becomes, ‘What am I so afraid of?’ and if you can answer this question with resolution, you’re less likely to have so many experiences with jealousy and envy, feelings we all know as some of the worst to experience.
So why do we allow ourselves to envy negatively and what are some of the reasons we find ourselves jealous of others? Sometimes we think..’She looks better than me. ‘He likes her more’. And men sometimes think, ‘He has more’. ‘All the women want him.’ ‘He has more access, more pull.’ On and on and on. And guess what? These will sometimes be the case at some point. Learn to accept them and know that it’s okay. Why? Because it is never our duty to be the exception of these opinions or even prove them wrong. Neither do any of these actualities have any real or worthy impact of our own being.
What exactly is the truth about jealousy and envy? More than the energy we give to others with these feelings, we are rejecting ourselves even more. The fear that ignites such feelings simply say, ‘I’m not good enough, I’m too far behind’, ‘I don’t have what it takes’. The truth is that when the majority of these experiences occur, they bring to our own realization that we’ve been slacking, yet always wanting what others have; a reality that is painful to accept and sometimes even denied as the truth. Jealousy and envy also teach us that it is always important that we balance work & play in our lives because while we’re playing, somebody else is working. And although play time is quite worthy of the hardworker, even still, time is dispensed.
Although clearly unwanted, moments of jealousy and envy we experience may be some of the most important moments we endure. The key is to understand it’s never about the other person. The question is never ‘why do they have’, but instead, ‘why don’t I see what I have’, that will help you overcome. People come with qualities and attributes that you can do nothing about and it is never the expectation that you should, unless you place that expectation upon yourself. The more you improve upon your own abilities, the more accepting you will become of others and even pleased with what they have to offer.
Fear not what others have but be very afraid of the lack of clarity you have in your own life.
Tawana R. Powell